Here and Now

"I must learn to love the fool in me -- the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."~Theodore Rubin   Self love is coming so much easier these days. There are times when I throw my heart out to the wolves, it is torn to shreds, and I do feel like a fool...for a short while, and then I say, "Fuck them!" "I'm awesome!" My self worth comes from deep within me, and I won't allow anyone to take that away anymore. I also refuse to beat myself up, close myself off, or change anything about who I am. How people treat me, good or bad, says everything about them, and nothing about me.   Moving on...   ...

  This is my theme song! Whenever I'm feeling like life is getting the better of me, I listen to this, and it inspires me not to allow anyone to ever take my power or my voice again.   "Now I'm a warrior Now I've got thicker skin I'm a warrior I'm stronger than I've ever been And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in I'm a warrior And you can never hurt me again."

Drought The rain holds on tight to the sky as the clouds darken the room with shadows shattering the daylight Beyond the back door the creek beds wait cracked and empty Only the faded violet thistle still grow along the path Outside of the windows the gray promises taunting... Time whispers a slow exhale as the pale sun spills upon the dry earth Another day, it will come an endless downpour music on the roof Another day, it will come Angela Minard 2013©    

Here are some pictures from Yoga In The Vines at Somerset Ridge Winery in Louisburg, Kansas. Yes, yoga and wine!!! I thought more than twice about posting the top picture, because it is after all, a picture of my butt, which I haven't always thought so fondly of, but it does a really good job of keeping me steady in this pose:-) I've been working hard on improving my body image this summer, and I see where I'm becoming more accepting. I'm sturdy and strong, healthy and alive, and holy shit, what else matters!? What did I ever think was so great about being a waif? Maybe it was a lack of expectation on the part of not only myself, but others.  The other day in yoga class I had a very powerful moment with a friend of mine who is taking the teacher's training and was assisting the class. I was in a Warrior 2 pose, which is a deep lunge, arms open and reaching. She came up behind me and placed her palms beneath mine and told me to p...

  Have You?   Have you ever told anyone out loud that you wanted to be kissed? Have you ever wanted to climb so deeply inside of someone else that you couldn't discern the separate sound of your own heart beat? Have you said those words aloud, in the silent stillness of a familiar room, knowing that you would never want to take those words back? Have you heard the sound of their laughter, a talisman that you tuck within your soul, placing that warmth into the pulsing beat of your own hand in the midst of winter? I have... have you? Angela Minard 2013©

  This is a picture that was taken at Stoll Park in Overland Park, Kansas.  We all gathered to celebrate the super moon and the summer solstice. I'm on the purple mat.     “ My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am. ”  ~Anais Nin     On the last Friday of every month, the yoga studio where I take classes holds Satsang, which is a Sanskrit word meaning "true company." My beautiful teacher, Emily Darling, leads us through various chants and meditations, and last week we chanted the Sanskrit words, "Aham Prema," which translates to, "I am divine love." As I was singing and listening to the collective unity of voices surrounding me, I was filled with overwhelming gratitude for the amount of love that I hold inside. H...