Here and Now

"Tree House At Night" (pencil) by artist, Hazel Bryce   Confessions To The Sky She wanted a tree house to climb so she built one in her mind as children do; a hidden place where she could write to the sky... The splinters pierced the tips of her fingers as she let the blood drip down her weary arms   Words soared, twisting among the stars exploding throughout galaxies Secrets held inside an infinite darkness swallowed by the yawning night Her body; an offering a sacrifice Her words; an echo a confession an unspoken prayer...   Angela Minard 2013©

"The things you are passionate about are not random, they are your calling." ~Fabienne Fredrickson   This past week has been filled with many emotions, mixed with a dash of craziness, and ending with gratitude. It began Sunday with a bit of crazy. There was some freezing rain here in the evening, and as we were finishing dinner, Dave and I heard a crashing sound. The boys had gone downstairs, and we thought maybe they were goofing around. Dave went and looked out the front door, and someone had crashed their car into my oldest son's car that was parked on the street. Luckily the young man who was driving was not hurt, although both cars are in bad shape. Dave started his radiation Cyber Knife treatments this week, so we were both anxious about how he would be feeling, but so far it is going better than we expected. He has had a lot of nausea, some blurred vision, and dizziness, but nothing compared to what recovering from surgery would be like, so we are th...

Artwork~ Jennifer Healy   Interlude As the sun dips below the horizon Cool air gasping gripping the perimeters sinking on the exhale The earth sighs again and again Your heavy eyes close half moons hiding reflections of the day You are the deepest ocean a tempestuous storm burning sand and blooming Morning Glories returning to the shallow breath of sleep again and again Angela Minard 2013©

I’m a myriad of feelings, a ball of confusion, trapped within a body that in its best moments seems foreign, but most times only disgusts me. I was talking to my therapist this week about my body image, but I knew at the time that all it sounded like was that I was unsatisfied with the way I look. She tells me that this is the part of the eating disorder that is the most difficult to get past, and I know that until I can work through this, I'm at high risk for a relapse.  I sent her an e-mail yesterday, because I had a panic attack while getting dressed in the morning. This is what I wrote~   ”I want someone to understand, but I don’t even understand why I feel so miserable in my body. It isn’t even about what it looks like as much as it is about how it feels, and I can’t get away."   Her reply~ ”What does your body represent that you want to get away from?”   I thought about her question for most of ...