The weather here is still dreary, drizzly, and cold. I sit here as I type, wishing for fingerless gloves. Yes, I would wear them:) I'm still struggling with the depression, but reaching out for help. My psychiatrist raised my medication dose, so hopefully that will help. Eating and more nutrition would also help my mood, and yesterday I did better than usual, but today it was back to restricting. The full feeling is hard for me to sit with, even though I know that it will pass if I give it time. I just didn't want to go through that today. My nutritionist weighed me on Wednesday, and I've lost weight, although she wouldn't tell me how much. That is fine. I already knew I had lost, and though the eating disorder is thrilled by this, there is another part of me that is afraid. I'm afraid that I won't find my way out of this, ever. I'm afraid that I will always be ruled by weights and numbers, food and calories, the mirror and my distorted mind. I'm really ...
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Here is my sad sad story...
Prepare.
1.) I did the first cover art for Journal 2800. It was lovely but not exactly what I wanted it to be. Two days after I had completed it I came back to my dorm room to discover a card from my roomate stating that she had spilled her yerba-mate (I cannot spell that) on it by accident. Her sincere apologies. I took it as a sign that okay, I should have worked on it more. I thought, "No problem...I'll just make another cover, no big deal."
2.) I set out to make cover #2. I completed it, loved it, thought, "Well maybe noone will get it but they don't have to, it's hopeful and it feels right."
This was approx. 13 days ago. I then put it in a safe place because I knew I wouldn't be able to attach it to the cover of the actual journal without my special glue and I wouldn't be able to mail it until I arrived in Columbia.
3.) My safe place ended up not being safe because I have packed the cover art away so safely that now I cannot find it anywhere.
4.) After a four day search, I have decided to start over from scratch and complete a final cover (without over analyzing or critique) before June 8th (my birthday). I will scan, and mail it (back to you?) by Monday, June 9th. :)
There is the sad sad story and I send my apologies.
PS: If I get a chance tonight, I will scan the pages on the inside I have completed.
Thank you for having so much patience.
love, Jessieh
Take your time. I have all of the patience in the world, and yes you can just mail it back to me:)
Much love and hugs,
Angie
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Mark Twain
What a wuss!!! Get back in there and fight Pebus!!!!!!!
My son had a couple of rats (one at a time thank God) when he was growing up too. Mikey, then Melissa. They were sweet...but those cages can pack a wallup of a smell, no?
"Memrieeeeeeeeeeeees...like the corners of my minnnnnnnnnd."
:)