Mind And Body

Photobucket

"Silencing the Inner Critic"
Art work by Rita Lyon


Since Tuesday's emotional meltdown, I have been focusing more on taking care of my mind and body, and it seems to be helping. I've been walking on the treadmill at the end of the day, and that seems to calm my mind down and relieve some of the stress and anxiety that tends to build up. I had a great therapy session on Wednesday, and I was actually able to touch on some of the anger that I've been feeling. We talked about how I have been to this point before but the anger always scares me so much that I use the eating disorder to cope with those feelings instead of owning them. Without the eating disorder, I feel a great deal of panic, and there have been days that I find myself using it as a life line. I'm still very afraid to let go of it completely, but I'm working hard at confronting all of the feelings that I have avoided for so long.

Comments

Psych Client said…
Hi, just stopping by. I really like your blog. I can relate to many of your posts. I'm not ready to call myself a survivor of anything after three years of therapy, I'm still not in touch with my feelings.

Anyway, I color mandalas and it is so calming. I use colored pencils. I wish I would've known about these long ago.

Anyway, just thought that idea might help. Take care
Sunday, November 23, 2008
52 Faces said…
Angela, What an absolute joy to meet you (and through the usually useless entrecard, no less!)

This is inspirational for me, who is also walking out of childhood abuse of sort. It's wonderful to see this space.

S
Monday, December 01, 2008
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Certain

Image
Certain The moon follows you at night when you are a child Oh yes, it does of that I'm certain And the stuffed animals with their neon colored synthetic fur they talk to each other when you close the bedroom door Oh yes, they do of that I'm certain And you can hear the angels whisper and the jingle of sleigh bells on Christmas Eve And dandelion seeds are tiny ballet dancers twirling in the wind The fairies hide beneath the willows And if you lie in confession with your fingers crossed you won't go to hell And with the moon behind you are always safe when you are a child Oh yes, you are of that I'm certain Angela Minard2009©
Read more

Just Snap Out Of It

Image
The weather here is still dreary, drizzly, and cold. I sit here as I type, wishing for fingerless gloves. Yes, I would wear them:) I'm still struggling with the depression, but reaching out for help. My psychiatrist raised my medication dose, so hopefully that will help. Eating and more nutrition would also help my mood, and yesterday I did better than usual, but today it was back to restricting. The full feeling is hard for me to sit with, even though I know that it will pass if I give it time. I just didn't want to go through that today. My nutritionist weighed me on Wednesday, and I've lost weight, although she wouldn't tell me how much. That is fine. I already knew I had lost, and though the eating disorder is thrilled by this, there is another part of me that is afraid. I'm afraid that I won't find my way out of this, ever. I'm afraid that I will always be ruled by weights and numbers, food and calories, the mirror and my distorted mind. I'm really ...
Read more

Combat

Image
I’m sadly detached, as if I’m watching myself through a window. Everything is dreamlike and surreal, with the world spinning in slow motion, and yet I can’t seem to reach myself. I was hoping that some of the depression would lift. I don’t feel as hopeless, but I’m still feeling sad and despondent. I can’t pinpoint a reason as to why I’m feeling this way which is so frustrating, because I would fix it if I could. I’m glad to be at work, I’m slowly increasing my food intake, I’m going to all of my therapies, taking my medications, and going to the addiction recovery meetings. I’m doing what I can to take care of myself, but still this sadness hangs over me. I’m so tired of feeling this way. I’m hoping that the warmth and sunshine of spring will pull me out of this darkness. I always seem to lose hope in the midst of winter, so maybe the grey, dreary days wear me down, making me more susceptible to depression. I just don’t want to go through another winter like this. I need to find a way...
Read more