A Liar's Lament

Photobucket

A Liar's Lament

I've never been able to read your writing,
but in my hands I hold your regret
Fingertips touching sorrow
for what you have lost
I believe that you are sorry
only for yourself
I remember standing on your toes
and looking up.
It was only a moment
lost in time, and so very far away
Trust and believing has faded into
a numbing nothingness
I've waited and still
when it comes to you
I have no voice
My words are everything to me
All that cannot be stolen
or changed to fit your perceptions
of who I should be
You have been lost in my silence
and like a scream that dissipates
into the cold night air,
you finally disappear


Angela Minard 2009©

Comments

Ann said…
Love your poem. I just noticed your Wednesday post, don't know how I missed it the other day. I hope all went well with the new student. Breakfast is always tough for me. I know what you mean about not enough time in the morning. All I manage to squeeze in is coffee and a piece of toast.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Anonymous said…
Hi Angela,

I stumbled upon your blog yesterday and I would like to say that you are a beautiful writer and that I'm looking forward to reading more about you. From what I've read so far it sounds like you and I struggle with some of the same things-- I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop by my blog sometime (bloggernos.blogspot.com).

Sending you well-wishes,
NOS
Saturday, August 29, 2009
clean and crazy said…
so is this one for who i think it is. very eloquent and sweet. is it enough for you to let go now. i hope so the depth of your writing must give you some great relief. you have a gift with words. don't quit writing and never give up you are amazing.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Christa Bledsoe said…
Hello Angela. I just visited from Entrecard. What a great poem, it was very well written which is nice because its hard to find good poetry. This was my first reading, but I look forward to reading more of your writings. Thank you for sharing.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Unknown said…
you have a beautiful soul angela and are perfect just as you are. that can never be taken away from you. embrace your emotions, all of them, and let them flow through you back into the universe. breathe in the love and with your exhale push out the darkness. with these words that you have written i see you letting go. very powerful, freeing words.

much love to you my friend...xoxox
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Jackie said…
I love it Angela. There are power in your words. Power that is yours and only yours!!

This says a lot to me that you are working through things. To verbalize your feelings about this is a wonderful and progressive step!!

I hope you have a good week.:-)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Kimmy said…
Angela, I am happy to find your writings. Your writing has a style all of it's own. You speak from the soul, and your mind. This torment was like your mind finally catching up with your heart. Amazing how you capture emotions that I could never put into words.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Jackie said…
Hi Angel! just popping in to say good night and sweet dreams!

I just love your poems. I hope you have a good day tomorrow!!

Hugs,
Jackie
Monday, August 31, 2009
Anonymous said…
Well done! I love the aliteration in this piece! I really liked the part about looking up and also this:

when it comes to you
I have no voice

Nice job!

Mark
Monday, August 31, 2009
Enchanted Oak said…
Angela,
I just composed my own blog for the first time tonight, and checked labels for recovery, found you, have many things in common. I'm thrilled to find you do poetry too. I also have an amazing husband, am recovering from many things, and believe in the power of expressing ourselves. Please visit my blog. I need some feedback!
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Certain

Image
Certain The moon follows you at night when you are a child Oh yes, it does of that I'm certain And the stuffed animals with their neon colored synthetic fur they talk to each other when you close the bedroom door Oh yes, they do of that I'm certain And you can hear the angels whisper and the jingle of sleigh bells on Christmas Eve And dandelion seeds are tiny ballet dancers twirling in the wind The fairies hide beneath the willows And if you lie in confession with your fingers crossed you won't go to hell And with the moon behind you are always safe when you are a child Oh yes, you are of that I'm certain Angela Minard2009©
Read more

Just Snap Out Of It

Image
The weather here is still dreary, drizzly, and cold. I sit here as I type, wishing for fingerless gloves. Yes, I would wear them:) I'm still struggling with the depression, but reaching out for help. My psychiatrist raised my medication dose, so hopefully that will help. Eating and more nutrition would also help my mood, and yesterday I did better than usual, but today it was back to restricting. The full feeling is hard for me to sit with, even though I know that it will pass if I give it time. I just didn't want to go through that today. My nutritionist weighed me on Wednesday, and I've lost weight, although she wouldn't tell me how much. That is fine. I already knew I had lost, and though the eating disorder is thrilled by this, there is another part of me that is afraid. I'm afraid that I won't find my way out of this, ever. I'm afraid that I will always be ruled by weights and numbers, food and calories, the mirror and my distorted mind. I'm really ...
Read more

Combat

Image
I’m sadly detached, as if I’m watching myself through a window. Everything is dreamlike and surreal, with the world spinning in slow motion, and yet I can’t seem to reach myself. I was hoping that some of the depression would lift. I don’t feel as hopeless, but I’m still feeling sad and despondent. I can’t pinpoint a reason as to why I’m feeling this way which is so frustrating, because I would fix it if I could. I’m glad to be at work, I’m slowly increasing my food intake, I’m going to all of my therapies, taking my medications, and going to the addiction recovery meetings. I’m doing what I can to take care of myself, but still this sadness hangs over me. I’m so tired of feeling this way. I’m hoping that the warmth and sunshine of spring will pull me out of this darkness. I always seem to lose hope in the midst of winter, so maybe the grey, dreary days wear me down, making me more susceptible to depression. I just don’t want to go through another winter like this. I need to find a way...
Read more