Morning Musings

It is 4:00 a.m., and here I am. The nightmares get me everytime, and although I could wake my husband up for some comfort, I don't, mostly because I feel unclean. I used to take a bath after one of those dreams having to do with the rape, but I have to force myself not to because what would happen is that I would cry, have flashbacks, and then dissociate. I've even been found in the bathtub by my husband with my clothes on, so instead I got up, made myself some tea, and decided to get on the computer. I suppose that it is good that I've learned to use another way to cope. I have therapy today, so maybe we can figure out what triggers these dreams. I hate them so much! It always affects me the day after, and it doesn't help that I'm tired from not getting sleep. I'm also worried about a new student that we are getting today. He has some severe behavioral issues, and will need a lot of support. He will have a para coming with him, and although the para knows the student, he has never worked directly with him before. It will upset the balance of the classroom for awhile, which is fine, but I'm worried about the student that I work with who also has very challenging behaviors and is quite aggressive. I think it will be a little crazy for awhile. I love my job, but there are days! Yesterday I was thrown up on by one of my 5 yr. olds. I went to wipe his runny nose and all of a sudden he puked right into my hands. Lovely! :) Okay, sorry that was probably too much information, but it's all in good fun :-D
It has helped so much to write this morning, so thanks for reading. I love my little blog!