Ups And Downs

Photobucket

I have felt disconnected, needy, and just not myself this week. Sometimes I require a lot of attention from my husband, and sometimes I don't. We often do our own seperate things, which is great. We aren't connected at the hip 24/7, and I don't need that, but sometimes I want to feel like he wants to spend time with me. I want him to innitiate, and not for it always to be my idea, and I get my feelings hurt. I've been down, and excessively tired, but today has been better. I'm looking forward to the weekend, and getting some yoga in. I haven't done it much this week, because on Monday, I took a long and furious walk in my flip flops, and my calfs were really sore. Yoga must keep me more centered than I realize. Eating has been hit or miss. One day I will eat fine, and then the next barely at all. My schedule feels really off, and maybe it was the long weekend that threw me off track. Anyway...I just wanted to check in here, and also wish everyone a wonderful weekend!

Comments

Just me said…
Sorry it's been a hard week - I hope the next one is easier, hang in there!!
Friday, September 09, 2011
Wanda's Wings said…
I'm sorry this has been such a hard week. It seems like sometimes no matter what we do or think that the week can be hard. Hang in the there!
Friday, September 09, 2011
I Hate to Weight said…
ups and downs. i really have them too. some days lately, i just cry with sadness and frustration. and then the next day, i don't understand why i was so sad at all. and i'm fine.

it's such a cliche but i ALWAYS tell myself -- this too shall pass. and it does. helps with my anxiety.

hope today is a good one.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Nicole said…
I'm sorry your week was so hard. I really hope that you were able to get some rest over the weekend and that you are feeling a bit better. Keep holding on, hopefully the coming days will be brighter.

Thinking of you and sending lots of love <3

*hugs*
Nicole
Monday, September 12, 2011
Eve said…
Well, I think we are in the same boat here......I have been feeling very up and down and unsure and all over the place. Thank you for your continued honesty! I love you.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Certain

Image
Certain The moon follows you at night when you are a child Oh yes, it does of that I'm certain And the stuffed animals with their neon colored synthetic fur they talk to each other when you close the bedroom door Oh yes, they do of that I'm certain And you can hear the angels whisper and the jingle of sleigh bells on Christmas Eve And dandelion seeds are tiny ballet dancers twirling in the wind The fairies hide beneath the willows And if you lie in confession with your fingers crossed you won't go to hell And with the moon behind you are always safe when you are a child Oh yes, you are of that I'm certain Angela Minard2009©
Read more

Just Snap Out Of It

Image
The weather here is still dreary, drizzly, and cold. I sit here as I type, wishing for fingerless gloves. Yes, I would wear them:) I'm still struggling with the depression, but reaching out for help. My psychiatrist raised my medication dose, so hopefully that will help. Eating and more nutrition would also help my mood, and yesterday I did better than usual, but today it was back to restricting. The full feeling is hard for me to sit with, even though I know that it will pass if I give it time. I just didn't want to go through that today. My nutritionist weighed me on Wednesday, and I've lost weight, although she wouldn't tell me how much. That is fine. I already knew I had lost, and though the eating disorder is thrilled by this, there is another part of me that is afraid. I'm afraid that I won't find my way out of this, ever. I'm afraid that I will always be ruled by weights and numbers, food and calories, the mirror and my distorted mind. I'm really ...
Read more

Combat

Image
I’m sadly detached, as if I’m watching myself through a window. Everything is dreamlike and surreal, with the world spinning in slow motion, and yet I can’t seem to reach myself. I was hoping that some of the depression would lift. I don’t feel as hopeless, but I’m still feeling sad and despondent. I can’t pinpoint a reason as to why I’m feeling this way which is so frustrating, because I would fix it if I could. I’m glad to be at work, I’m slowly increasing my food intake, I’m going to all of my therapies, taking my medications, and going to the addiction recovery meetings. I’m doing what I can to take care of myself, but still this sadness hangs over me. I’m so tired of feeling this way. I’m hoping that the warmth and sunshine of spring will pull me out of this darkness. I always seem to lose hope in the midst of winter, so maybe the grey, dreary days wear me down, making me more susceptible to depression. I just don’t want to go through another winter like this. I need to find a way...
Read more